Liberal Love Letters
From time to time I get
emails from those on the left unhappy with my work. I include just a few below
for entertainment and educational purposes. The original spelling and grammar
remain intact, while the inevitable profanity and the writers' names have been
Feel the love...
Brain Drain From America is going to be massive...
Enjoy your "freedom"..but keep in mind the Christian Coalition doesn't
like uppity gals..
a massive, liberal, northern migration, this country will be that much the
better. We’ll manage to get by with what’s left behind I think.
uppity gal will enjoy her freedom at least for four more years and hopefully
many more after that, if those of your ilk will make good on their promise to
leave and never return.
Subject: National I.Q. Test, Nov. 3
One question test
Campaign contributions from Ivy League school faculty and staff:
Harvard contributions to Democrats-96%
Harvard contributions to Republicans-.04%
MIT contributions to Democrats-94%
MIT contributions to Rebublicans-.06%
Yale contributions to Democrats-92%
Yale contributions to Republicans-.08
Source: David Brooks, New York Times Sept. 15,th 2004
Guess the American people flunked the test, huh?
4 more years.
Subject: Clinton Book Companion
It's really rather tragic that you people can't get over Clinton. He's
rich and happy, so why not find something else to knock around. His personal
sins are none of my business, anymore than yours are. He was a fine president
with or without the sins. And I'm afraid we (you included) will rue the day you
ever heard of the 43rd. Even without his domestic sins he has brought down upon
the nation and the world a dystopian new world order that may well end in
calalmity for mankind. Pray that it doesn't.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I will leave Clinton alone when he leaves me alone.
I am not now, nor have I ever been concerned with his
sins, personal or otherwise. However, when the person in charge of executing the
laws of the land uses his position and power to avoid testifying and then lies
under oath in a civil rights case brought against him by an average citizen, he
deserves to be impeached and fined for perjury, which he was.
As far as George W. Bush and his "domestic
sins" contributing to a "dystopian new world order that may well end
in calalmity for mankind," do you not think Al Qaeda and the rest of the
murdering Islamist thugs deserve a little credit in that direction?
Thanks for writing,
Subject: RE: Our great VP shall lead the way
I'm concerned that you are not talking about our VP
yelling "____ YOU!" in the Senate. Dick Cheney's
verbage is to be repeated in every school room and church
in America. It is a proud day, indeed!
Let's all hold hands and chant "____ YOU, ____
YOU, ____ YOU" until we get to "____ you"
in every room of the house. We know that if our VP gets to do it,
that we all should get to do it, too.
Lisa, in the words of our greatest VP ever
"____ YOU" and horse you rode in on!
I hope your children are being taught to sing the
VP's "____ YOU" song - so that later they can
sing it to you! If you want the words - just check out the
Dear Mr. M.,
I don't usually respond to readers who use profanity
(and no, the VP has not been in contact with me) and I will not do it again, but
I would like to clear up a few things for you.
First of all, I don't know which of my columns inspired
your charming email, but you're right--I have not commented on Cheney's use of
vulgar verbiage in a private conversation. Nor have I commented on John Kerry's
use of the profanity in question in a magazine interview intended for public
Second, I can't look up the incident in the
Congressional Record since the Senate was not in session during the photo shoot
in which the profanity was allegedly used.
Third, it brings me infinite joy to learn that you
consider Mr. Cheney "our greatest VP ever."
Fourth, I hope that your theory that if the "VP
gets to do it that we all should" does not apply to our 42nd president's
behavior in the Oval Office with interns.
Lastly, no horse, no children. Sorry.
Subject: There you go again...
The loss of executives at Air America was a result of the arrival of new
investors with their own management team. You folks really need to stop living
in your own little inbread world and come up for intellectual oxygen once in a
while. Air America is not going to go away because a bunch of reactionary nut
jobs remain in denial.
Dear Mr. F.,
New investors? Have it your way. In the past two days
they've closed their Chicago and LA sales offices and had some further HR
Financial, management, payroll and programming shakeups
and screw-ups barely one month into its run do not bode well for the future of
Does the liberal message merit a forum? Of course, but
it is my opinion that talk radio is not a venue that is conducive to it.
Might the conclusions I draw in my piece prove wrong?
Maybe, maybe not. Whatever the case, AA will stand or fall based on its market
value, and not because a bunch of us "inbread," reactionary nut jobs
wish it so.
As for intellectual oxygen, it is being ingested every
day in media not dominated by the left: talk radio and the Internet.
Subject: Gag me
<<But worst of all for them, every time
their minions regurgitate the AWOL story, a gorgeous photo of Lt. George W.
Bush, young and handsome in his uniform is beamed all over the world.>>
Yeah, it’s pretty bad, isn’t it? Right
after the photo was taken young and handsome George probably went back of the
hangar and did another line of cocaine. And thought about the 500 young men who
were ahead of him on the waiting list for National Guard service until Daddy
made a phone call. And laughed.
If the photo of Lt.
Bush causes you to gag perhaps you might send one of the scene you imagine,
should it exist.
As for the 500 young
men ahead of him on the waiting list, how many do you suppose were Yale grads?
Daddy made a call?
Prove it. Only a few thousand liberal reporters have tried and failed.
Thanks for reading,
Subject: Gag me
You’re welcome Lisa.
Oh, and can you prove daddy didn’t make a
call? Maybe it was Mommy Bush. She wears the pants anyway. And a Yale grad?
Excuse me, but what the hell does THAT have to do with anything? (A Yale grad
with a C average yet.) I guess Yale grads are entitled to jump ahead of, say,
University of Pennsylvania grads, huh? After all, this is a monarchy with landed
gentry, not a democracy.
Anyway, here’s something I don’t have to
prove. Kerry went to Vietnam and actually fought. I believe he also won some
medals. Bush opted out. And nothing you can say or do is going to change that
sweetheart. (It was hard for Kerry to look young and handsome because he was
usually covered with mud and blood, unlike shining young George.)
See you at Kerry’s inauguration, dear. And
don’t reply to this, because I’ll delete it before opening it. Reading
a******s like you makes me gag too.
PS Lisafab? Oh, that’s TOO precious!
Okay Howard, have it
But just in case you
peek at this, yes, I believe I heard a rumor that Kerry served in Vietnam. I and
those like me have always honored and appreciated those who did and it didn’t
take us 30 years to do it. And yes we owe honor to Kerry’s service, but that
doesn’t grant him a lifetime pass on every other issue.
As far as Mommy
and/or Daddy making the call, it’s your accusation, you prove it. (BTW,
thought liberals liked aggressive women who wear pants.)
As for the
inauguration, I’ll be there as I was in 2000, partying with people who, as I’ve
said, have ALWAYS honored our Vietnam vets and all who’ve defended this
Sorry for the
gagging problem, but then you wrote me first, didn’t you?
As for LisaFab, that’s
always been my nickname, since my last name is kind of hard to pronounce and it’s
a heck of a lot better-sounding than the charmer you laid on me in your closing.
Subject: Maureen Dowd
For you to say that women like Maureen Dowd who long for a meaning to the word
"manly" beyond destructive machismo is "...like that frumpy girl
you knew in high-school that wrote editorials denouncing "dumb jocks,"
but secretly longed for the football hero," is like me saying that
conservative women who want macho men are sublimating deep feelings of regret
about being the football team's most popular party favor.
Not fun is it? And it's certainly not elevating discourse.
If it weren't for women like Maureen Dowd and Anna Quindlen, your conservative
establishment would have no need for a token female like you to defend their
position. So give them a break will you? You owe them your job.
I would ask you and Ms. Dowd, what meaning
of the word ‘manly’ I am missing? As
you might guess, I am from the ‘old school’ who believe there are real (and
welcome) intrinsic differences between men and women, one of which is a man’s
natural tendency to protect those weaker than himself.
President Bush and his administration, far from exhibiting “destructive
machismo,” are doing what they can to protect U.S. citizens, which they have
sworn oaths to do. If this upsets
you or Ms. Dowd, you’re free to shout it out--that’s the American way, which
would certainly disappear if our sworn enemies had their way.
explain your use of the term ‘macho men’.
Are you applying it to the president and Don Rumsfeld, or to all
conservatives in general? Is
exuding masculinity a bad thing? How
about femininity? It is (or used to be) all a part of natural attraction between
the sexes. I would think life extremely dull indeed if men and women were, in
all ways, the same.
As for my comparing Ms. Dowd to a girl I
knew in high school (her name was Dawn), it was much kinder than most of her
daggers thrown at those of us on the right.
I’ll give her ‘a break’ when she gives us one.
as far as your dig about conservative women “sublimating
deep feelings of regret about being the football team's most popular party
favor,” we don’t ‘sublimate’--we leave that and sexual promiscuity to
please, if this “token female” must owe her job to someone,
might it not be Kate O’Beirne, Phyllis Schaffly, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin,
Monica Crowley, Linda Chavez, Mona Charen, Diana West, Debra Saunders, Kathleen
Parker, Susan Olson, etc. or even Ayn Rand?
thoroughly enjoyed your email, really. Political
discussion is what this nation was founded on, and I find it animating at all
times (just ask my friends :-)
You don’t find Rummy just the least bit sexy?